Here Without You
by Malfoy-hima
Summary: In the final battle with Voldemort, Harry vanishes, along with the Dark Lord. The entire Wizarding world seems to have lost hope, including Ron and Hermione, but Draco knows something they don't.


Title: Here Without You  
  
Author: Malfoyhima  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they belong to JK. The beautiful song "Here Without You" belongs to Three Doors Down. I only *wish* I'd written it!  
  
Author Notes: I know there are other fics similar to this one, but I just thought this was a sweet idea. I absolutely love this song, and I'm such a sucker for Harry and Draco! Please review!  
  
Warning: Slash, a small bit of angst, but not too terrible :)  
  
Addy: malfoyhima@yahoo.com (my e-mail has changed. I hope I did it right!)  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Beta: My bestest sister, tir-synni. Smooches!  
  
Summary: In the final battle with Voldemort, Harry vanishes, along with the Dark Lord. The entire Wizarding world seems to have lost hope, including Ron and Hermione, but Draco knows something they don't know.  
  
//A hundred days have made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face//  
  
A hundred days. That's how long it's been since he disappeared. My love. My life. My Harry. He vanished into thin air, leaving nothing behind. Everyone saw it, yet no one can believe it happened. No one understands.  
  
Bodies laid everywhere. Some friends, more enemies. The Light greatly outnumbered the Dark. Harry and I fought side by side, unstoppable together. I threw curses while he deflected the ones thrown at us. Of course, Harry being who he wa-- is, he could throw a few of his own curses while deflecting them if he needed. The Dark side didn't have a chance. Then *He* finally appeared.   
  
Everything stopped. Harry looked at me. "It's time, Love."   
  
My stomach lurched. "Harry. . . ." I choked.  
  
Harry smiled gently at me and laid his free hand to my cheek. "Draco, whatever happens, my love for you will never die." He brushed his lips to mine and walked to his fate.   
  
I stood watching as the entire battlefield stayed deathly silent. Both sides wanted to see what would happen. This was it. This would decide the fate of the entire wizarding world.  
  
In an instant it had ended. A brilliant stream of golden magic connected their wands, and they had both vanished. Neither one had left a trace. It's as though they both disintegrated, both ceasing to exist. Immediately the remaining Death Eaters began to apparate. The Aurors tried their best to prevent them from escaping, and they had managed to capture a few before they could flee. I stood in that spot for minutes, hours, days. An eternity. He *had* to come back. No matter how long it took, I would wait for him. But he never came back. My Harry was gone.  
  
A hundred days have passed since I've seen his beautiful face.  
  
//A thousand lies have made me colder, and I don't think I can look at this the same//  
  
The first few weeks passed slowly. The Ministry's words echo through my ears: "I'm sure he's just fine, Mr. Malfoy." "He'll turn up, Mr. Malfoy." "We won't rest until we find him, Mr. Malfoy." Liars, all of them. No one has found him, and it seems as though I'm the only one who hasn't gotten any rest. They don't care. He did what the world expected of him, he rid the world of Voldemort. They don't understand what it's like to truly love him. To truly need him. No. They don't care. They think that I don't notice that they have all but called the searches off. But I'll never stop searching. I will find him.  
  
Even Granger and Weasley have lost hope. They won't let me see it, but I know. Every day, they grow more and more tired of the search. And they claim to love him. They claim to need him. They claim to care. I don't believe them. If they truly loved him, they would never give up hope. They wouldn't rest either. But they do.  
  
Liars, all of them.  
  
//All the miles that separate have disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face//  
  
Now I rest too. I can no longer fight it. I'm exhausted, from the searching, from the hope, from the pain. I dream of his face, smiling at me, gazing at me with those beautiful emeralds. I dream of his voice, softly telling me he loves me, huskily telling me he wants me, angrily telling me for the thousandth time to be civil to his friends. He's all I see. His face, his hands, his entire body.   
  
Granger and Weasley visit about once a week. I try every insult I can think of, but they still come back. They've given up on Harry, why haven't they given up on me too? Why can't they leave me alone? Let me sleep.   
  
I don't leave the flat anymore. I can't. It's too painful. I'm not strong enough. With Harry, I would be. But Harry's not here. I just wish I could die . . . No. I can't think that way. He'll come back. He promised. I won't give up. He'll come back.  
  
//I'm here without you Baby, but you're still on my lonely mind//  
  
//I think about you Baby, and I dream about you all the time//   
  
//I'm here without you Baby, but you're still with me in my dreams//  
  
//And tonight there's only you and me//  
  
I'm without him, but he never leaves my mind. He never will. I've stopped sleeping so much. I'm still waiting. I can't leave, what if he comes to the flat? I have to be here. I'm not missing it.   
  
Granger and Weasley are still coming by to see me. I actually try to be civil to them now. I know Harry wants that. Granger keeps fussing that I don't eat enough. Nonsense. But to appease her, I eat whatever she whips up. Weasley comments that I look better than I have been. Definite nonsense. There's no possible way that I can look bad.  
  
I still look forward to sleep, but it doesn't claim me. Not like before. I dream about Harry every night. Always the same dream. We're lying in our bed together, spooning. I'm lying behind, with my arms around him, clinging for dear life. Harry laughs and rolls over to face me. "I won't disappear, Love." He pulls me closer and places small kisses on my forehead, my eyes, my nose, my chin. I just look at him. In the dream I know. He *can* disappear. I just cling to him tighter.   
  
//The miles just keep rollin' as the people leave their way to say hello//   
  
I received an owl from the Ministry today. They want to arrange a memorial service for him. I reply with a Howler. "IF I RECEIVE SO MUCH AS ANOTHER *HINT* FROM YOU REGARDING A MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR HARRY, I'LL FILET YOU THE MUGGLE WAY! In short, I must decline." This prompts me to leave the flat and find him. I'll prove to these bastards that he's alive. They don't understand. He has to be. He had planned the whole thing.  
  
While I walk through the Ireland countryside, I pass people who go out of their way to say hello to me. A Malfoy is just as famous as a Potter in the wizarding world, especially a Malfoy shagging a Potter. I give polite nods to the hellos and the sympathetic smiles. I know what they're thinking. But they're all fools. I *will* find him.  
  
//I've heard this life is overrated, but I hope that it gets better as we go//  
  
I think of the day he told me of his plan. He had found a spell that would connect the wands of the two wizards/witches involved. They would both vanish to another place, the choice of the person casting the spell. I didn't want him to do it. "It's too risky, Harry," I told him. If he didn't say his spell at precisely the same time as Voldemort said His curse, the wands wouldn't connect and Harry would disappear alone. And there was also no guarantee that they would reappear where Harry desired.   
  
"I have to do this, Draco," he told me. "It's the only way. I want him finished, I want this ended. This way, he won't have his Death Eaters to help him, and I won't put anyone in danger. As soon as it happens, I'd be willing to bet that the Death Eaters will begin to disapparate. The Aurors will know what to do."  
  
"Blast it, Harry! It's *not* the only way! It can't be! Why do you have to do this? You don't have to beat him alone!"  
  
Harry gazed at me with nothing but pure love in his eyes. "Yes, Baby, I do. He is nothing but a monster, he needs to be stopped. And I'm the one that has to do it."  
  
"You and your bloody hero complex!" I shouted at him. "This whole Savior bit is overrated anyway! Why can't you just let someone help you? Don't you understand, you may not come back! I can't risk that! I can't risk--" My voice broke, and I quickly stopped. In the three years that Harry and I had been together, I've never cried in front of him. This day would be no different.  
  
Harry knew this. He reached out to me and took my face in his hands. "Draco, whatever happens, my love for you will never die. And I *will* come back. I promise." He then kissed me with an urgency that I've never felt before, and spent the remaining hours of the day making love to me.  
  
Now, as I walk through the beautiful green hills, all I can think of is finding him and kissing him with that same urgency. Finding him and telling him how much I love him. Finding him and never letting him go again. Harry makes everything better.  
  
//I'm here without you Baby, but you're still on my lonely mind//  
  
//I think about you Baby, and I dream about you all the time//\  
  
//I'm here without you Baby, but you're still with me in my dreams//  
  
//And tonight, it's only you and me//  
  
I've taken a room above a small Irish pub called The Leprechaun. Clever name. Not many people come here, so I can keep a little anonymity. Tomorrow, I'll go home. No sign of him in Ireland. No one has seen him. Not in Ireland, not anywhere on this bloody planet! It doesn't matter though. It's a big world, after all. There are many places to look.   
  
But for now, I'll settle in and let my mind drift. I'll wait for the dream that has become so familiar. I know as soon as I fall asleep, he'll be in my arms again. Tonight, it's only Harry and me.  
  
//Everything I know, and anywhere I go, it gets hard but it won't take away my love//   
  
//And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done, it gets hard but it won't take away my love//  
  
I'm home again. I have a map hanging on the wall in my study. I pointed my wand at Ireland and marked it. So far I've been to Italy, Spain, Germany, Austria, and Ireland. No sign of Harry. Not even a sighting. So many places are left. But it doesn't matter. I'll find him. Nothing will take my love away. No matter how hard it is.  
  
Granger and Weasley stopped by again today. They looked at me hopefully, and I had to tell them I didn't find him. I want to scream at them, "Why don't you help me?" But I know why. They have their own life, I can't expect them to drop everything. Besides, they know I won't give up. I'll never give up.  
  
They ask me if there's a possibility that Harry didn't make it. I say no. How can they ask such a question? Then I remember. I'm the only one who knows of Harry's spell. He didn't tell anyone else. He didn't want anyone else to know because there were spies everywhere at the time. Not that he didn't trust the two of them, but even walls have ears. I decided that they needed to know. I told them of Harry's plan, hoping that they would understand why I can't let go just yet. They understood. They agree that since no sign of Harry has been found, there's still a chance that he could be alive. No sign of Harry means no body. And until I see a body, Harry is still alive.  
  
Granger also brought up the fact that Voldemort may also still be alive. If that's the case, they could still be battling, even now. She immediately went to the study to retrieve the book that had Harry's spell in it. When she returned, already finding the page of course, she had half the page skimmed. When I asked her what she was looking for, she just held up a hand. Then she found it. According to the book, the person who casts the spell will return once their business is finished, whatever that may be. In Harry's case, killing Voldemort. This news brought renewed hope for all of us. I felt such a joy inside of me that I could have kissed her. But I didn't.  
  
When Voldemort falls, Harry will return. And my love will be waiting for him.   
  
//I'm here without you Baby, but you're still on my lonely mind//  
  
//I think about you Baby, and I dream about you all the time//  
  
//I'm here without you Baby, but you're still with me in my dreams//  
  
//And tonight, it's only you and me//   
  
Granger, Weasley, and I finally say good night, the three of us too elated to sleep. When they left, I spent a long time in the sitting room thinking. What if Harry didn't survive and Voldemort is still living? What if the spell backfired and they landed in some other demension? What if Voldemort has Harry in some torture chamber and I can't do a thing to help him? Then I realize. Harry Potter is one of the greatest wizards ever. Voldemort couldn't kill him as an infant, he won't kill him now. Harry will win. Harry will beat him. And Harry will return.  
  
I take myself to the bedroom and strip down to my boxers. Climbing under the covers, I run my hand over Harry's side of the bed. With this new hope comes a new pain. I miss him. I want him home. I want this to be over. It's been too long. It hurts too much. I close my eyes and wait for my dream, hoping that the dream will take the pain away.   
  
Tonight, the dream is different. I'm dreaming of Granger and Weasley, they're both laughing and clapping their hands in delight. Granger has tears in her eyes. I ask them what they're so happy about, but they can't hear me. They just keep laughing. Then I hear a voice. "Draco, my love." It's Harry's voice. I feel lips lightly press to mine, but no one is there. "Draco, Love, wake up." Where is his voice coming from? Can't he see I'm awake, I'm standing right here, in front of his friends. (Who are quite rudely ignoring me, by the way.) I mumble, "I'm already awake," and I hear a soft chuckle.   
  
"Draco," I hear him say, "Baby, I'm home." A realization strikes me and my eyes spring open. There, in front of me, are the two most beautiful green eyes in the world.   
  
"Harry. . . ." I whisper. It's all I can manage.   
  
Harry takes my face in his hands, a gesture that is so familiar to me, and kisses my lips softly. He pulls back to look at me and stroke my hair. "I told you I would be back, Love."   
  
I can say nothing. I can't find the words. My Harry has come home to me. I close my eyes, hoping against hope that this isn't another dream. But I know that it isn't. I hear his concerned voice. "Draco, what's wrong?"  
  
I open my eyes and smile. "Nothing, Love," and for the first time, I let Harry see me cry. 


End file.
